Thursday, June 19, 2008
As the Texas furnace begins to crank up
Things you learn from the Texas heat. Inspired by Elwed’s comment of frying an egg and lifted from the about Phoenix website.
- the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
- the cows are giving evaporated milk.
- the trees are whistling for the dogs.
- you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
- you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
- you can make instant sun tea.
- you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
- the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
- you’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
- you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
- The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
- you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
- you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
- hot water now comes out of both taps.
- it’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
- you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
- you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- a sad Texan once prayed, “I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I’ve seen it—but for my 7-year-old.”
(1) Comments • Permalink
Page 1 of 1 pages