As the Texas furnace begins to crank up
Things you learn from the Texas heat. Inspired by Elwed’s comment of frying an egg and lifted from the about Phoenix website.
- the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
- the cows are giving evaporated milk.
- the trees are whistling for the dogs.
- you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
- you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
- you can make instant sun tea.
- you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
- the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
- you’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
- you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
- The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
- you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
- you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
- hot water now comes out of both taps.
- it’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
- you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
- you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- a sad Texan once prayed, “I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I’ve seen it—but for my 7-year-old.”
I have actually seen this happen on a trip to the former East Germany. It’s disturbing to leave footprints on a surfaced road…
Posted by elwedriddsche on 22 Jun, 2008 at 14:30